Back in the day, we didn't have none of this Brazzers shit.  To survive back in 19-diggity-2, we had to master delayed gratification. For example, if I needed to jerk my gherkin, and Sunday's newspaper with the coveted lingerie junk mail was still a few days away, I had to plan it out. 

Sometimes, when I didn't feel like spending two hours whittlin' a birch twig into the shape of Farah Fawcett's left thigh... I'd break out the old Etcha Sketch to make my visions more tangible... and it was worth it! 

However, I never created none of that 'step-brother/sister' shit you youngin's seem to be into these days... What in the blue hell is wrong with your generation?

• 3" Wide, with 3D PVC features (buttons feel kinda realistic)
• Backed with Hook backing
• Shake it up at the end for a realistic money shot